What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
