if you like me you must not know who I am
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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