I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
