well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I want her autograph on my taint
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
