Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Send help, water and tortillas.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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