I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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