Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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