he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
