exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
