Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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