it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
