i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
