So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
