I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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