He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There's always time for handjobs
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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