Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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