yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
