how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
