also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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