seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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