when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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