Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
