i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
