is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
