Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize