you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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