I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize