Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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