Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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