You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
