she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize