remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
