Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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