The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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