she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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