im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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