I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
