Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How does it feel to date your dad?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
