And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
