No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
