There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
