Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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