I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize