Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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