Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
