I CAN MOONWALK!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
