Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
