Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
