Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
