Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
