we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
