What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
