Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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