Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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