I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
