Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
