yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
